How Do I Connect With My Mom?
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I'll be turning 18 in a few months but my mother treats me like a child. I have a 12 o'clock curfew which I'm never late for, even though none of my friends go home before 2 a.m. I help her with chores and I try to be a good daughter but it's like she doesn't notice that. I dont know what to do, I feel like I'm trapped, and I've
tried talking to her but she just starts yelling and punishing me further. When i was younger, I do admit that I came home intoxicated a few times, but I've grown out of that, I drive now, therefore, I cant drink. That's her biggest worry, I think. I feel so hopeless, she's said she is emberrassed of me even though i am an honor student going to university. My brother who just finished college was deep into drugs at my age, yet he got more freedom then I did. It's like nothing I do will ever satisfy or impress her. My dad is not really in the picture, he goes to work at 6 a.m and comes home around 7 p.m, and he always complains to my mom how she gives me too much freedom. I've threatened to run away, but she just tells me to go but then begins to talk about all the financial issues and such. I feel like I can't connect with her and I'm desperate to fix this.
Please help,
Thank you.
Please Help
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Wendy's advice
It sounds like your mom might have issues that go beyond just not trusting you. She may feel guilt over your brother's problems and doesn't want to see you head in the same direction, or the issues may go deeper than that. Not knowing what her issues are, it's difficult to know how to get her to open up and have a calm discussion. You've mentioned that you are at university. There should be counselling services there that you can access as a student. I'd suggest talking to someone face-to-face about what is happening between you and your mother. A counsellor should be able to give you some strategies to deal with her, and to maintain your own self-esteem. At 18, you can certainly move out if the situation doesn't improve, but leaving home brings with it a lot of financial responsibility and this needs to be a decision that is not made in the heat of a family argument.
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