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Can I Get Her Back?

Hi, My girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Our 1 yr anniversary would be in a month. Her birthday is this week. Anyway she said she wanted to move on. I tried to get her back by all means for a week . I asked her if we had a chance in the future & she said that I should just move on with my life. Well I got upset & said some really horrible things to her. This past week I have been apologizing every day in every way. I want this woman back very badly!! We have never loved someone as much as we loved each other. This has been said on many occasions. She has even said we're soul mates. We're in our 40's. I desperately need your help on this! How do I get her back? She accepted my apology but things between haven't changed. I love this woman with all my heart & appreciate some advice to get her back. Do I do something for her birthday? Please help!!!



Mark's advice

Okay, so the brick in the head didn't work. You really need to study up on history, because as far as she's concerned, you are. She "wants to move on", is just a polite way of saying; you're toast, out-of-luck, yesterday's news. The fact that she accepted your apology for all the terrible things you said to her, is not a good thing, because it means she doesn't care. If she did care, she'd be hurt and pissed. And it doesn't really matter what sweet nothings were whispered before. That was then and this is now. I'm not judging if you deserve to be dumped or not, nor do I know enough to analyze what went wrong. All I can tell you is that a birthday present is a waste of money.
Like she said; You have to move on. I feel for you, but I've got no magic solution.
Sorry dude.

Sophie's advice

Dear Please Help,
In the world of relationships, there are few things harder to come to terms with than the end of a love - especially when it's not your decision to end it. It can be so utterly devastating to wrap your head around how the love you once shared with someone has now changed in their eyes. The natural response to this change is of course to panic and scramble for a way to reclaim what you once had. Please Help - you have to listen to your ex-girlfriend. You were with her for almost a year, so by now you must be able to trust that she knows herself. You must trust that she's doing what's best for her - obviously there were things in the relationship that were not working for her anymore and you have to acknowledge that. Often when things end, we can only remember the good parts, and we gloss over what was really going on. Give yourself some time to mourn this relationship and slowly but surely you will learn to define yourself again without her as a part of your daily existence. It will take time - no doubt about it - probably several months, but you WILL feel better and you WILL get over this. Try to figure out how and where it went wrong and what you can do to make your next relationship better. All relationships must be treated as learning experiences or we will continue to repeat the same mistakes.
Hang in there, we've all been through it, but we all get over it.



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"I tried to get her back by all means for a week" and "This past week I have been apologizing every day in every way." --> by those methods, you would drive even me nuts. She broke up with you for reasons so give her some time to think things through. Perhaps she just needs a time out and will realize she made a mistake with the breakup. Give her space but let her know you'll be around. Try again in a few weeks and if that doesn't work, move on. Just don't beg like a mad man or yell like a meanie. Let's at least save the last memory she has of you a positive one.

Rainie