My Husband's Past is Causing a Strain on our Marriage - Please Help!
I have been married for 6 months to a wonderful man named Michael. We dated for four years before deciding to get married. The problem I am having is with my sister-in-law Rachel. Rachel's sister Tina dated my husband 25 years ago when they were both teenagers. They dated for about a year. Their relationship produced a baby girl who died at birth. Their relationship was rocky and soon after that their relationship ended and they went their separate ways. Twenty five years later Michael and I met and I brought him home to meet my family. I had no idea that this was the same guy who had dated Tina. Tina and I were not friends or anything like that so I knew nothing of their relationship. The moment my sister-in-law Rachel met him, she started talking to him about Mandy and everytime we get together for holidays and special occasions, she brings up Tina's name in one way or another. Last month my father-in-law passed away. My sister-in-law Rachel walked over to my mother-in-law to pay her respects. I heard her introduce herself to my mother-in-law as Tina's sister...instead of as my sister-in-law. That made me upset, but I said nothing. In fact, for the sake of keeping the peace with my brother, I have continued to say nothing every time she brings up her sisters name. However, I am at the end of my patience with her. The latest incident was last week at my sisters wedding. Rachel was holding her daughter's baby and my husband went over to her to see the baby. The baby does not know my husband and she was scared of him and didn't let him get too close to her. My sister-in-law Rachel tells my husband that the baby does not want him near her because her Aunt Tina has told her all about him. My husband walked away from them and was upset because he felt her comment was uncalled for. Now I am upset with my husband because I feel that he should tell her that he is not interested in hearing about her sister. My sister-in-law does not seem to understand that her sister knew him as a teenager and not the man he is now. She cannot possibly know "all about him". I don't know what to do. I should have said something to her a long time ago but now I don't know how or what to say. Or should I even be the one to say anthing or should my husband? I need your advice. Please help. I have only been married six months and this is causing a strain in our relationship. I love him very much and I know he loves me too. As it is now, my husband has an ex-wife Beth with whom he has 3 children with. I do see her at family functions and we are cordial to each other. I have no problem with her. But Tina is not an ex-wife so she does not fit into my relationship with my husband. I welcome your advice and will do anything you recommend. Thanks.