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Dateless and Confused as to why?

I have dating issues, I can't seem to meet anyone, I am a very sociable person, I love sports and enjoy everything and anything. I am smart and have a great job I am a registered nurse and well I do have fun with myself. the only thing is I can't seem to find a love interest. I go on dates with men once in a blue moon, I am on every dating site you can image with pictures and everything yet I never get asked out, I never get very much emails and well when I do it's not what I am looking for cause usually they just want sex. the other damper is that I am an overweight lady I am over 200 lbs and well I don't fit the typical female body image that most men are looking for. I just don't understand what I am doing wrong, or am I doing something wrong? Is my weigh tthat is scaring men away? Is it my eagerness to find love or that I might to aggressive I am not sure I need your advice please send me your thoughts. I am definitely frustrated with this I am 31 years old and well I would like to get married and have children one day but, I am not even close to having anything of that sort cause well men just walk away from me or don't even look at me. My friends are either dating exclusive big time or are already married and well I can't even get a date. One of my friend's has 3 dates this week and well the last time I had a date well it's been so long I can't remember. pretty lame I would definitely say..Need your Help!
Sincerely
Dateless and Confused as to WHY??




Mark's advice

Dear Dateless,
Well, there ain't no easy way of putting this.
Your friends are not going to tell you. And everyone else you ask are just going to pussy-foot around the issue. But I guess you want the truth, and no B.S. So here goes. It's your weight, plain and simple. And now you're thinking, "I can't believe he said that. This guy is such a creep. I'm going to get in my car, find he, and run him down". Well, I figured you'd rather hear the truth, and find out what you can do about it.

There's an old joke. Two women bump into each other. The thinner of the two yells, "Get out of my way fatso", and the heavy woman replies, "I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go on a diet". And in there lies your solution. If you want a date......Loose the weight. Guys are mostly looks-orientated. It's not fair, but it's reality. And most guys will be thinking, if she's that size now, how big will she be in 10 years. Now, unless you're 7 feet tall, 200+ pounds on a woman is extremely unhealthy. You're a nurse, so you know that. There are all sorts of negative health issues with obesity, from heart disease and diabetes to certain types of cancers. Now there is a ton (excuse the pun) of FREE weight loss info on the internet. Cutting Carbs is one of the easiest and best. Also, you have to exercise. Walk a mile each day. It's not as hard as you might think. Don't just talk about. You have to do it. You'll find as the pounds come off, the love interest will go up.

Don't just do it for the guys. Do it for yourself.

Sophie's advice

Dear Dateless,
Although I do not agree with the way society puts so much stock into appearance, I think your weight could possibly be an issue in today's dating world. A common misconception that some people have regarding those who are overweight is that they do not care about themselves, since it appears (even if it is in no way true), that when you are overweight, you do not care about your body, and therefore yourself. People can also equate an overweight appearance as a sign of insecurity, which might be more than they are willing to handle emotionally. Many men (and women) are also very visual in terms of attraction, so if they are not attracted to you physically, it can be hard for them to get past this first stage in order to get to know you better. You also mention "eagerness" as a possible issue, and yes I believe many men are turned off by someone who is overly eager and aggressive, not only because they can see that as desperation, but because men often like to do the chasing :-) The question is, how do you feel about yourself? Are you happy with yourself inside and out? If so, is this the image you are projecting to the world? I firmly believe that when you put value in yourself and project it, people will recognize it and respond accordingly.




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