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Do I Have a Reason to be Jealous?

I am living with my boyfriend of 2 years. We have one child between us and then I have 3 from a previous marriage. My boyfriend and I have have become pretty good friends with our neighbors who are a little younger with no children. It is pretty much a hang out on the weekend and drink kind of thing, which I don't always enjoy, but my boyfriend and her husband are really good friends. Well, my problem is that even though the girl is very nice to me, she seems much closer to my boyfriend. She is always asking him about work and seems to focus her attention on him when we all hang out. Also, she is very endowed in the chest and always wears VERY low cut shirts. Usually when we all go somewhere several guys comment on her chest. Anyway. I know my boyfriend loves me very much, but this situation really bothers me. I just recently mentioned it to him and he says that he does not notice her showing him more attention, so I just dropped the subject. Should I just feel more secure with myself and my relationship and ignore the situation?

Angela




Sophie's advice

Dear Angela;
You are in real danger of breathing life into that green-eyed monster we call jealousy. You even said yourself, "Should I just feel more secure with myself and my relationship and ignore the situation?" The answer is yes. Just because this woman wears low-cut shirts and talks to your boyfriend more than she talks to you (in YOUR presence and in the presence of her own husband I might add) does not mean a thing. Some women get along better with men and have more male friends. Have you made an effort to get to know this woman, or are you guilty of that ridiculous thing women do to each other, you know, when we act suspicious and keep our guards up instead of realizing we could and should be friends and allies? Try to bridge the gap with this woman and get to know her on a more personal level. It's also time to look at yourself. What is it about this woman that makes you feel insecure? The fact that you mention what she wears and what her body looks like is a sign that you feel threatened by her appearance. You need to feel confident inside and out - your boyfriend loves you and you share a family together. Are you maybe feeling like you've lost a piece of yourself? Try doing something nice for Angela, whether it's giving yourself a pep-talk, getting some exercise (this gets our serotonin levels up and always makes us feel better) or exploring a new interest you might have. These are the things that will keep you feeling good about your life, and in turn good about yourself, and will reflect from you into all your relationships.

Mark's advice

Hey Angela,
Yah, what is it with guys and their seeming endless fascination with girls with big boobies, knockers, bazonkas, lung warts, jugs, hooters, headlights, mammaries, bra-busters, breasticles, okay, I admit it.
I'm just as bad as all those other guys. I'm very happily taken, but I still look. Most guys like to check out a nice rack, but it doesn't mean they'll jump into the sack with the first girl that's willing to lift their shirt. Now that said, I'd still keep an eye on the situation with your busty neighbour. Sometimes women (and men) who are in a long term relationship will flirt for attention. And flirting is okay as long as it remains flirting. I think you could run into a problem if both your boyfriend and your chesty chum drink a little too much and you are absent. Another scenario that might make him stray, is if he feels you don't want him anymore or that you're taking him for granted, while at the same time your buxom buddy is telling him how great she thinks he is. I guess the trick is to keep him happy, so that whatever she has to offer isn't worth losing what he's already got You.




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