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He Broke My Heart...

Well, there was a guy who had a girlfriend and he cheated on her with me,
it was just one night and everything and we promised to forget about it and not tell his girlfriend. After it he told her and dumped her and started saying stuff to me about how he likes me and how it was the best night of his life and everything, and made me feel really good about myself, but then he went back out with his ex girlfriend and broke my heart. When I had finally got over him, he had dumped his girlfriend and started saying stuff to me all over again, but different things about how he really does like me and he's never liked her. Again he's got back with her, I don't know how to get over him at all anymore, I tried talking to him about why he did it but he's just been so cocky and now he's so happy with her. He doesn't care about how I feel, it's hard to avoid him as well, since our families know each other so were always together at family things. I deleted his number and email and have had no contact, but I don't know how to get over him, because deep down I really like him and all my friends don't help, they think I was stupid, which doesn't do much for my self esteem. I really don't know what to
do, I've tried everything. please help!


Erin's advice

When we get involved with people who do not care about us, it's a reflection that we do not care about ourselves. This guy, whom you say you "deep down really like", cares nothing for your feelings, only his own. This is plainly obvious, because he's done nothing but string you along, reel you in, and jerk you around - and you have let him do all this to you!

Instead of looking at his actions, which is the only true way to judge a person's character, you let yourself get all wrapped up in his words, and probably created a fairy-tale in your mind around this one night you spent together. The fact that you can't get over someone who treats you so badly and has such a dodgy character means this whole issue lies with you.

Do you feel that you don't deserve a person who is prepared to be in a relationship with only you, and someone who knows themselves enough not to play with other peoples' feelings just to boost their own ego? This is a lesson for you that shows you need to look within and figure out where your self-esteem is at. You need to learn to feel better about
yourself instead of giving all your power over to someone who doesn't even care about you. It's time for a reality check - this guy is not who you've convinced yourself he is. If you want to help your self-esteem, then certainly don't sleep with people who don't care about you - that's a recipe for low self-esteem if there ever was one. You deserve better - and you need to start convincing yourself of this, and surround yourself with people who make you feel loved - not the opposite. The answers on how to get over him lie within you - and only you!

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