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Hopelessly Hopeful

I am a well-educated, employed, average-looking man in my early 40s. The women I meet and date (who are usually in their mid-to-late 30s), confuse me to say the least! We seem to get along great initially, but I can't seem to get past the second date. My suspicion is that they are still waiting for their "knight in shining armour", for some handsome fairy tale of a man to sweep them off their feet. Is this still what women are waiting for in this day and age?
- Hopelessly Hopeful

Mark's advice

Well Hopelessly Hopeful.

May I call you Hopelessly? Yah, they are waiting for that knight in shining armour, but usually they'll just settle for a good time. And if you're not getting a second date, they're not having a good time. Hey, I'm no prize, and I can get a second date, so it's not your average looks that's killing your love life. It's something else. I find that if you're easy going enough to make a women feel comfortable, and you can make a women laugh, {and not at your wardrobe), you almost always get a second date. One last tip. Ask a close friend (even better if it's a woman}, to go on a double date the next time you meet someone new. After the date, ask them what you did wrong and what you did even more wrong. If you can't see what you are doing wrong, your friend can. (oh, and so can your date).

Sophie's advice

Dear Hopelessly Hopeful,

And what a wonderful thing to be (hopeful). I do believe there are some ladies who are still looking for their "knight in shining armour", and as we all know, he got lost in the woods. There's no such thing, and if someone you're dating seems to be looking for that, then perhaps this isn't the right time in their life for a real relationship. It would have been helpful of you to include how you tend to meet these women you go on first dates with - was it through a blind dates for instance? If so, maybe there simply was no real chemistry upon meeting. If you'd communicated and seen these ladies prior to your first date, did you find you talked about things that could've been better brought out further down the line, like past relationships? It wouldn't hurt to have someone discreetly observe one of your dates, especially a female friend you trust. She may be able to give you some good tips and pointers.
And Hopelessly Hopeful, a little bit of sweeping someone off their feet (ie. flowers, a considerate gesture, or an opening door) is never a bad thing.

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