Ask Advice 
Article Archive 

How Do I Get Him Back?

I have been having a serious relationship for 1 year and 4 months---but apparently for the last 4 months we have been having problems (that is what he has told my friends). I had been moody and all, but the thing is, he never told me! He bottled it all... until he couldn't take it any more :-( Plus, to make things worse, one of his close friends started coming between us and that caused more problems for the two of us because his so called friend added things up to make things worse. It has been two months since we have broken up and I really still want things to work. I bumped into him at a match recently and the saddest part was that he was drinking and drinking, he looked wasted. He was always around me at the match, we hardly spoke, but he was always there. Then I bumped into him at a concert. This time he was in his senses, but he was still around - jumping up and down like a little kid, but still around. This isn't the first time we have broken up. Two years ago we also broke up because we have unsorted issues within us, but after six months he wanted to give it another try, and we did! As a couple we were great. We're still talking and have silly conversations, but that is it, there has been no progress. Please tell me what to do to get him back. I believe that I should be partly to blame for the breakup, but don't we all deserve 2nd chances? When he asked for a 2nd chance, I gave him one, but I honestly don't think he wants to give me one. I am confused. And I am scared to approach him because of his new found friend. Please tell me what to do. How do I make things fall back into place again/ How do I get him back? Please reply a.s.a.p. because I think I am going insane. Take care and God bless you all




Sophie's advice

You mention at the end, his new found friend. Is this a new found woman friend? If so, then you need to come to terms with the fact that it is over and he has moved on.
If not, then just level with him. Tell him that you realize you were moody and you regret not getting a handle on yourself sooner. Let him know that you have learned from the past and that you would love to give the relationship another chance and hope that he would too. If he says he does not, don't freak out. Don't tell him it is unfair that you gave him a chance and he is not giving you one. Show him with your actions, that indeed you have changed. Hold your head up high and walk away from it, knowing that at least in the end, you did what you could and that this ultimately was not meant to be. Then take some time to heal and get back out there to meet some other great men.

Mark's advice

Gee, this is a real tough one.
I'm curious as to the gender of this friend that’s getting between you two. If it's a female, then I think you're out of luck.
But let's assume it's a male.
Now I'm wondering why this friend has it in for you.
When you said you were moody, did that include toward this new friend as well? If so, you're going to have to win over this friend first. Something like, Could you help me get my old boyfriend back? I know I was a drag before, but if you put in a good word for me, I'll try not to be a bitch.

It sounds like your ex still wants to hang around, but both his friend and the memory of your moodiness are keeping him a bay. If you can win over his friend, he'll come back. If not, you'll just have to throw yourself at him and hope for the best. After all, you asked how you would get him back; and not if you should get him back.




Add comment