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How Do I Get Myself Out of This Mess?

I have a huge problem. Me and a guy I've been in love with for several months now, were at this party the other day and we both ended up pretty drunk. We ended up going out alone for whatever reason and started kissing. It was obviously like a dream come true, if I hadn't remembered next morning that he actually has a girlfriend and they've just moved in together. I was actually starting to get over him, but him kissing me made all the feelings fly right back. He's a really great guy and the type of person I've always
been wanting to date. Despite what happened between us that night he's a really loyal person and I don't think he's cheated on his girlfriend before. Now the problem is I don't know how to get out of this mess cause I've only known him for a little while and even if we can't be together I'd really love to be friends with him. How do I get myself out of this mess?

Nicki No Name




Erin's advice

It's interesting how you use the phrase, "ended up" - you "ended up" pretty drunk, you "ended up" going out alone. And then you suddenly "remembered" the next morning that he has a girlfriend he lives with? You, and only you, have created, this "mess" you're in, and it's pretty clear you knew exactly what you were doing. So, if you're ok with going after another woman's man, then just admit it, and be open about it. If you respect that he's in a relationship, stay out of it - completely. You don't really want to be friends with this guy - you just want to be around him, and friends don't do what you did. Of course, an equal amount of blame certainly falls upon this guy, who shouldn't be cheating on his girlfriend in the first place, but you alone are responsible for your own actions. And although you may think you're in love with him, love has nothing to do with treating people disrespectfully (his girlfriend) to get what you want.




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