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I Cheated and Now He's All I Think About!

I cheated on my boyfriend of six years. The affair ended after 3 months as
he felt bad about the situation (he has been cheated on in the past) and as I wasn't prepared to leave my boyfriend for him this 'thing' we had was not going anywhere. At this point my feelings for this guy weren't that strong and I wanted to try and give my relationship one more go. I tried to make things work with my boyfriend but partly due to the guilt over what I'd done I ended the relationship 6 months later.

That was 3 months ago. I still see the other guy as friends and my feelings for him have grown. I'm pretty sure he still likes me but I think he is reluctant to do anything after what happened before and the fact I've only just finished a long-term relationship. I haven't let him know how I feel because I don't want to ruin the friendship but its driving me crazy as he's all I think about.

Do you think that it's possible for us to have a relationship after
everything that has happened or should I try and get over this guy??

Please help!


Erin's advice

It sounds like you've gone through a very confusing and emotional period. Whenever we do something with serious moral implications such as cheat on someone, it can have serious consequences, not only on the situation at hand, but on our psyches in general. You need to figure out why you did what you did, and work through that guilt, as well as any other feelings which came to the surface because your actions. What kind of headspace were you in to begin with, to even consider cheating? What were you missing in your relationship? Why was that your solution to the problem instead of dealing with it honestly? To be obsessing about a possible relationship with the object of your affair sounds like you're avoiding what's going on inside of you emotionally. Until you figure that out, it would be irresponsible to involve someone else in your life, and as you said you've just finished a long-term relationship - take some time for yourself to get your head straight!

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