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I Made a Mistake and Dumped Him - What Can I Do?

Hello I am in a bad situation at the moment, a few months ago I dumped the
love of my life because there was a rumour going around that he was cheating. But after I had dumped him I found out that it wasn't true and that it was stupid and I love him still and cannot believe I did such a thing in dumping him. Also he has a new girlfriend and shes one of my friends and I am soo jealous and sad that they are going out but i have to keep saying to the girl that I am happy for her and him but I just cannot seem to be able to move on? Have you got any tips on what I should do?


Erin's advice

There's not much worse we can do to ourselves than live with regret and self-blame. It paralyzes you, and keeps you reliving the past over and over - with thoughts and feelings of "If only I'd done this or that differently." You have to accept responsibility for that fact that you made a mistake. You simply cannot change the past, you can only change how you choose to perceive it. What can you learn from this situation? Perhaps that you have trust issues you need to work on, or perhaps that you listen too much to what other people say and don't have a strong self-identity? The lessons you choose to learn from this situation are completely up to you. Do some soul-searching and try to focus on the fact that this whole thing happened because of the way your brain and emotions interpreted the situation, not because of what he did. It's a hard lesson to learn, but the only thing you can do is forgive yourself, learn something positive, and move on so that you don't repeat this same mistake down the line. We all make mistakes, but they're correctable as long as we're adult enough to learn something from them! It might also help to apologize to him if you haven't already, but you're going to have to live with the fact that he's moved on, and at least grant him that freedom. You will get over this, but you have to forgive yourself first.

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