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I Think I'm Falling In Love With an Old Flame - What Should I Do?

Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We kind of started fast in the relationship by moving in together after a month and I was only 18 at the time. Right now, I am 23 and have 4 kids. My oldest is 3 years old and my youngest are twin girls of 8 months. My problem is that, recently I have met an old flame again, he is really successful in live and very lovable. We kind of started flirting again. I think I am starting to fall in love with him again but I don't know what to do. Don't get me wrong. Me and my boyfriend are not like the perfect couple. since I had my second child, we keep arguing and we don't get along. He is immature and does not want to grow up. He likes to drink and not take care of the kids. He has a lot of things that I don't even like. For a couple years now, I've stayed with him just for my kids because there are no more sparks between me and him. Even in bed I feel like I am obligated to have sex with him. What am I supposed to do? Does it mean our relationship is over already? Because I have tried in the past so many times to fix it but now he even yells at me in front of my kids. I just don't love him anymore!

One Sad Mama

Wendy's advice

Getting involved with someone else while you are feeling this way is a bad idea. It will only complicate things. I'd suggest seeking counselling with your boyfriend if he is willing, or going alone if he's not. The relationship may or may not be over, but you need to get that sorted out before you start seeing someone else, and dragging your kids along for the ride. You need to stay away from your old flame until a time comes when you are completely free to be with him, and in a mindset that will foster a healthy relationship. Now is definitely not that time. You are frustrated with your current situation and this guy is offering you a way out, complete with romance and all the fuzzy feelings that go along with a new relationship. It won't last, and if you don't deal with the problems you're having with your current boyfriend, you may find yourself encountering the very same ones down the road with the next one. Remember that your relationships with men serve as a model for your children. If you don't handle problems appropriately, they'll never learn to, so step up, be a grown-up and handle the problem at hand. Don't complicate it by bringing another guy into the picture. Your kids deserve better.

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