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I'm Starting to Hate My Friend

Human relationship to be exact... There's this girl I've known for many years now, and I think we consider ourselves to be good friends. We've been through many fun adventures and stuff, and we have a great time; that is, as long as I keep my thoughts to myself about her. The fact is, I think she has some serious personal issues and has gone through a lengthy process of creating an alter ego she uses to impress people with, and all of it is a huge lie. She's a scam on two feet. Now, she uses Facebook and dozens of
blogging websites to infect people with her crap - she's a writer but never published anything and claims that she's the next best thing on the market - she uses lame off-the-web poetry contests that have been identified as scams and claims she's won them all - she gives herself tons of titles of importance regarding her career when her actual job isn't that important at all... I need to know if I should stop being her friend, should I expose her true nature (part of me wants to do that real bad) or do I go on with silence because I'm the one sustaining this friendship? It's bad enough she takes everyone for an idiot, but I do my own research and I know the whole truth behind her excessive ego-barfing... and I think I'm starting to hate
her for not being authentic.

Good Friend




Erin's advice

It's quite interesting you actually think of yourself as a friend to this woman. You claim to be "good friends" with someone you believe is a liar, has an alter ego, and takes everyone for an idiot. Meanwhile, you spy on and judge her behind her back, and express a desire to "expose her true nature". To top it off, you're "starting to hate her for not being authentic". You're the one not being authentic - while she seems troubled to the point of believing her own elaborate lies, you're happy to gossip about her behind her back, which I'm sure you do to your other friends regularly. Have you heard the expression Drama Queen? That's you - you're using her for entertainment, just as she's using you to help her perpetuate the ridiculous lies she concocts. If you actually cared about this person, and actually were her "good friend", you'd do your best to put an end to both your facades and try cultivating a true friendship, which by the way is based on compassion, understanding and love in case you didn't know. If you don't care enough to help her, at least help yourself by not being around such negativity. And if you're happy to let things go on as they have been - you deserve each other.




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