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Move on or not?

I need help...

I was dating a man for just over 2 years, he moved in with me and things seemed to be going well. Last February we had a blow out and mutually decided that the best thing for both of us was for him to move out and pretty much call it quits.
Since then neither one of us has been in a serious relationship, or even dated for that matter. We went on a amazing holiday together in November and all we did was fight. We were both hoping that this holiday together would bring us back together....and it didn't.

I love this guy with all my heart, but I just don't know what to do. Do I move on or do I work with what I've got? I don't like his Mother but love the rest of his family. My family loves him to death.

Please help me!!!




Mark's advice

Gee, what is it about Mother-in-laws anyway? Most moms still miss breast-feeding, so I guess, when junior goes off to find someone else to suckle, mom gets jealous. I guess that's why no one's good enough for mommy's little boy. Oh well, enough about that.

My advice. End it. Now, that was easy, wasn't it? I feel better already.

But why, you ask?
It sounds like you two just can't get along. I find it's the same person in a relationship who always starts the fighting, but that doesn't really matter. Whether that person is you, or him, you're always going to be in the thick of things. Fighting during an "amazing" holiday only proves my point. What's it going to be like when things aren't so amazing? When the mortgage is due, and he spent the money on tires for that car of his that's still in the garage and will never see the light of day? When junior gets his tongue pierced without telling you and it gets infected and someone has to drive him to the hospital? When you spent next years vacation money on this great little dress you saw? "But I love this guy with all my heart." Sure, you say that now. But will you still be singing his praises after ten years of bickering and arguing and complaining and yelling and fighting and bitching and squabbling and quarrelling and screaming and crying. Shall I continue or can you see where I'm going with this?

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life in a constant
battle, find someone you can get along with.

Sophie's advice

Dear Move on or not,
You are at a stalemate in this relationship - and neither of you knows how to make it work. At this point, if you are unable to settle your differences, the most common solution would be to move on. However, if this man is someone you really want to spend your life with and he feels the same way about you, I would suggest perhaps going to couples' counseling to learn how to better communicate. Oftentimes we fall into patterns that seem impossible to dig ourselves out of, and an objective mediator could be very helpful. Clearly there is some breakdown in your communication, and the issues you fight about are most likely just symptoms of something bigger going on. Do you have trust issues? Did something specific happen that had an impact on how you communicate? Or are you just sick of each other? These are the questions you both need to ask yourselves, and you need to share the answers with each other in order to get on with your relationship. The fact that you both thought a trip away might solve your problems leads me to believe you have not really tried to figure out what is wrong with your relationship, you're simply hoping it will go back to what it was. Relationships are hard work - so ask yourself if you want to put the time in or not, that's really the question here.




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It is very difficult for anyone to give advise when you do not give specifics of your relationship conflict. Both of you need to be completely honest,hear each other out and discuss issues without fighting and come to an agreement what you both can live with and what you cannot.

matrix


Marks's advice was dead on. I don't understand women who basically have no self worth. They quarrel with their partner, they swear to death that they love him and want to spend their entire life with him. What they really love is not the person, but the idea of having someone around. Women (and men) should understand two things, one, is that it is better to be single and lonely rather than married and lonely, and two, learn to enjoy your independence, by having healthy relationship. Volunteer your time, it could be very rewarding and opens a lot a door for you. Put a little sunshine on your cheeks, some laughter in your eyes, and the world will smile with you.

Single and loving it.


MOVE ON!!! Immediately! Then read the book 'He's just not that into you' by Greg Behrendt, and next time you'll know exactly what to do!

Don't waste your time