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Not Learning Any Lessons

Over the last few months, I have had two propositions from two different men, both of whom I have previously known, one for 5 years, the other for 15 years, and both asking the same thing: 'let's just be casual'. Never, before have I had this presented to me. Anyway, one evening, the 5-year old misconstrued something that I said during an evening with him when I told he made me 'feel good' and since then, I have not heard from him. The 15-year old is more verbal; let's you know what is going on in his head, which is a change of scene for me, and said that he wanted to take things 'slow' but basically said 'let's have an affair'. At first I didn't want this arrangement because of what happened with the 5-year old, and told him so. However, after a long discussion, I conceded. Technically, we have only had one encounter and similar to the 5-year old, I have not heard from him since. Could you please help me to tap into the thought-processes of these different, yet similar guys?
PS: I would really only want to pursue something with the 15-year old.

Not Learning Any Lessons

Mark's advice

Gee, this question requires some thinkin', and I ain't been doing much thinkin' in a long time. You know, dead-end job. The drudgery of 9 to 5. Working for the man. Day after day of mindless paper shuffling. Slaving away from dusk to....Oh, I'm sorry. We were talking about you, weren't we.

You know something. I think you are being used. What kind of guy tells a women he wants to take it slow and in the same breath tells her he wants to jump her bones? I think he wants to take it slow on the emotional side while having the physical side running full speed ahead.

That fact that both guys bolted after one night suggests to me, that they were both just after a romp in the sack. Now, you could analyze the two "encounters" you had, to see if there was something you did to send your two gentlemen friends running, but hey, why bother?

Go find someone you've known for 0 years, and start fresh. Don't waste your time with tag-alongs who just want a break from relieving themselves in a dark room each night.

Sophie's advice

Dear Not Learning Any Lessons;
There is only one lesson you need to learn here: "Let's just be casual" means, "Let's just have sex with no strings attached because I'm not really into having a relationship with you." I'm sorry to be so harsh, but that's the truth. If you think you can handle this type of relationship, (physical, with no commitment), then more power to you - however it doesn't sound like this is what you're looking for. My advice to you? Let sleeping dawgs lie.

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