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Our Sex-Life is Suffering!

I am 26 and my husband is 44 and we have our first child on the way. For over a year now I have been trying to deal with the lack of sex in our marriage and have addressed the issue several times to him. He always gets freakishly mad and won't speak to me for days and then there is some reason that it is my fault we are not having sex. He stays up extremely late and goes online to view and download porn when I am sleeping and masturbates in our bed when I leave the room in the morning to eat breakfest. Yesterday I
left the house for an hour to get us groceries. he said he did not want to go with me, while I was gone he hopped online and download some porn. Earlier that morning he told me he did not want to have sex with me while we were in bed taking a nap. About two weeks ago was the last straw for me I addressed the issue one final time and said eventually we need to talk to someone if he is unwilling to see there is a problem. He got so furious that he refused to speak to me or even acknowledge my existance for a week and said that I brought this kind of treatment on myself. I don't like porn, but i understand the occassional look, but he has used it as a replacement of me for many many months and won't even see that it is killing me and our
marriage. I have decided that I will no longer go to him for sex I am finished with the rejections when I try. So now i have started to try to take care of myself which is weird for me, but i ordered something from adam and eve not that "thing", but a little something to hopefully help me. I don't know what to do because if it is going to be like this I know eventually I will leave him and I love him so much it kills. I just wish he would talk to me and maybe have sex with me a time or two a month. HELP!

Marriage on the Rocks

Wendy's advice

It sounds very much like your husband has a serious problem that he is unwilling to address. Blaming you for it is a way for him to shift the responsibility on someone else. It's abusive and unacceptable behaviour in a relationship. Ideally, you should be talking to someone about this together, but if he won't even entertain the idea, you might want to see a professional on your own to try to work out how to handle this. The long and short of this is that if he isn't willing to face this problem and make a move towards dealing with it, things are only going to get worse. You deserve better, and so does your child.

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