Ask Advice 
Article Archive 

Should I marry him?

I took the advice, but I did drop a lot of hints. I waited till he was ready to tell me he loved me. This was 6 months into the relationship. We will be together for one year in Feb. My boyfriend is from India and has had a hard time with his Canadian Visa. He has actually been denied his visa twice and denied a visiting visa extention. He will be coming back to India and is uncertain as to when he will be back. I had planned my trip with my best friend and also in hopes that he would be able to meet up here. His sad story doesnt end at the visa's.. the same week he was declined for the second time his father passed away in India. He has gone through a lot in our relatiship and it has brought us together. We have been apart a month now and I will be seeing him in a few days, but only for one day.. then he will be with his family to morn his father and I will be traveling around with my friend.

I need more advice. People are telling me to marry him. How do I know this is the right choice? I want to be with him and I dont like the idea of going home without him. As it is I will be staying with him, his monther and brother for two months in Puna, India. I'm stressed about that. I'm glad his mother isnt the traditional type or we would have a problem seeing each other. I'm deeply in love with him, but when his father passed away and all his other stress.. he was hard to be around sometimes.. moody and such. Anyways.. maybe you can edit this a bit before you post it. I have to run.



Mark's advice

One word of advice.
WAIT
Wait until you're ready to get married.
Wait until you want to get married.
Wait until the turmoil is over.
Wait until you just can't stand another minute without him.
Wait
Wait
Wait
Did I mention you should wait?
Hey, I was right about waiting to say "I love you".

Mark

P.S. Wait

Sophie's advice

Dear To Marry or Not to Marry;
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders - so don't stop using that head now! What "people say" is irrelevant, this is YOUR life, YOUR relationship and ultimately YOUR decision. Helping someone to get their visa is no reason to marry someone, even if you do love them. Besides having kids, marriage is probably the most life-changing, impact-making decision you will ever make. It's true marriage has become disposable in our society, but you don't need to unnecessarily perpetuate this sad epidemic. Yes you love him, and there is a chance marriage might happen for you anyway, but do not sacrifice what it means to you in order to make someone else's life easier. You are clearly not ready at this time, and that's ok - it really is! Take some time and see how things go when you stay with him and his family for two months. It will be a great eye-opener to see him around his family and how he interacts with them, and you'll be able to make a more informed decision after this. And always, always go with your gut.



Add comment