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Should I Take Him Back?

My boyfriend(ish) and I have been together for almost four years. last year I became pregnant. I had to leave Calgary because he was drinking all the time and it got worse after he found out we were having a baby. the drinking was terrible. scary. I moved to Ottawa to be with family and my old friends from way back. now, after nine months of being alone and afraid, three months of raising a baby on my own, he wants to make good. Wants everything to be back to normal and is apparently going to a
counsellor for his drinking. I loved him, and during the whole pregnancy
all I wanted was to be back with him, even though I would say otherwise to everyone else. I cant tell whether to listen to my heart or my sane mind. I should add that while I've been in Ottawa I've kept contact with him. He's been claiming to quit drinking but then disappear for a week at a time on some bender. And I've been believing him over and over. being ridiculous. I know. What should I do?

Heart or Mind...



Sophie's advice

It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do.
You have been walking away from him and should not doubt your decision.
You wonder yourself whether to listen to your heart or your "sane mind". You mention that things got worse after hearing you were having a baby and that even though he says he quit drinking, he disappears for a week at a time. Both you and your baby deserve better than this.
He is the father of your baby, and so it is important that you have as good a relationship as you can with each other. This does not mean getting back together, especially when he is not being honest with you or himself. You need to realize that there is a lot more in life for you and you need to embrace it. Get out there, reconnect with your old friends and family. Expect more for yourself and don't get stuck wishing for him to be someone he is not.

Mark's advice

Well, you can follow your heart, and have it stomped into the dirt again and again and again. Or you can follow your head and find happiness somewhere else. A good friend of mine dated and moved in with an alcoholic. (And yes, your love-of-your-life is an alcoholic). Anyway, after 8 years of hoping it would get better, it didn't. A year after she dumped him, she met a nice guy, and everything is now hunky-dorrie. I know you're not going to listen to me. You're going to say "but I love him, and I'm lonely." You're going to run back into his arms and spend the next 20 years kicking yourself for being so stupid as he drags you and your child further and further down, until he croaks from liver failure, and you're standing all alone beside a pine box.
I'd love to see you prove me wrong.



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