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Should We Get Married?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. Recently he decided he wanted to go into the military... in order for me to be able to be with him we have to get married. I have never pictured myself getting married and to be honest I have never wanted to get married. I am only 18 and he is only 17, to me this is a big step and I'm not sure if he is truly understanding the whole situation. He has told me he understands what getting married means and he wants to. I told him I'm not sure and he said if I dont want him to he won't go into the military... I dont want to take something like that away from him and I dont want to lose him. But this whole marriage thing scares me! What if we get married and then it doesnt work out? I don't know what to do.

Don't Know What To Do




Erin's advice

From an outsider's perspective, you seem to have answered your own question. You've never pictured yourself being married, you feel you're too young, and your boyfriend doesn't seem to be taking this whole thing seriously. The fact that he decided to join the military without really taking your feelings and your future into consideration, is a sign that he hasn't really thought this through at all. Military life is extremely hard, and it's a huge life-altering commitment. There will be very long separations where you'll be left by yourself, and your life will revolve around his, make no mistake about it. Any future plans you had about what you wanted to do with your life - well you can pretty much kiss those goodbye. You're both too young to get married - marriage is something you enter into when you're absolutely sure it's want you want! You should never, ever, get married when you're not sure - it's a recipe for disaster. Try living apart while he's in the military, and if you've absolutely come to the conclusion you can't live apart from each other, you can discuss marriage, like adults, at that point. Until then, your life has barely even begun, so at least give yourself the opportunity to see what's out there first before you commit to something very real, and very difficult.




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