Ask Advice 
Article Archive 

Sudden Change

Hi, I need advice. I'm really puzzled and confused about the way men think. You see, I got to know this guy from the salon (he's a hair stylist). We never talked until recently. Both of us knew we are interested with each other (the way we see each other everytime at the salon). He started calling me daily after our first date. We talked and the
more we desire each other. He made it a point once to visit me at my office, bringing me ice cream because I told him I crave for it. He's a sweet guy, telling me how he much he loves me. This last for 3 weeks! This came to a halt few days back, where he promise to call after his lesson. The call never arrives. I message him once after I didn't receive his call, mainly asking how he is. His reply "im ok, busy these few days. How about yourself?" This sounds really formal and not his usual self. I'm upset of the sudden change. Please advise how I should handle this.

Mark's advice

First rule of dating.
Never date your hair stylist. Gee, I thought everyone knew that. Now I know, not all hair stylists are gay, (that would be just stereo-typing, wouldn't it?)but those who aren't, are running their fingers through women's hair all day, gently massaging their scalps, talking about things women are actually interested in, and damn, if they don't always look perfect. Maybe a little too perfect. (I'm sure I'll suffer at the hands of the hair stylist union for that).

So you broke the first rule.
Now, you've been dating for how long? 3 weeks! I've had jock-itch that's lasted longer. 3 weeks isn't long enough to assess how someone really feels about you, leave alone trying to give advice. 3 weeks is not long enough for most guys to distinguish between a serious romance that's just starting to bloom and a one night stand that's been running 2 weeks too long. And 3 weeks shouldn't be long enough for you to loose sleep over. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, at least there's no custody battle.

You should see the movie, "Shampoo".

Sophie's advice

Dear Sudden Change,
The simple answer is, you can't "get" anyone to call you again. It's clear this guy is just not that interested in you anymore, and although it doesn't appear to make any sense, things like this do happen all the time. Without talking to him, I can only guess at why he's had a change of heart... maybe he got cold feet, maybe he met someone else, who knows? At this point he hasn't exactly shown you very much respect by dropping you like a hot potato out of the blue, so you're probably better off without him anyway. If you really want to know what happened, ask him. And remember, if you did nothing wrong, DO NOT take it personally! This is clearly his issue, so time for you to move on.

Add comment