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Trying to Understand

I and some of my other female friends have a hard time dealing with men's needs to visit strip clubs. Every guy seems to say he is not the strip-club type, his friends dragged him, he doesn't want to say no and risk ridicule, and so on. We understand that they may only go once in a while, men are hormone-driven, peer pressure, yada yada. But in our mid and late twenties now, we wish they would grow up already. The worst part is, boyfriends often make us feel guilty for acting insecure about it. Guys get all irritated when a hot fireman shows up to save a cat out of a tree, so why can't they understand how intimidating sexy naked women performing private dances (and who knows what else) are to a girlfriend?
- Trying To Understand

Mark's advice

Well Trying to Understand, that's something I'm trying to understand too. I think I've been to a "peeler bar" twice in the last 10 years, and yes, my friends did drag me there. I think I'll have to consult my friend Claude. He's probably been to more strip clubs this week than I have since I was old enough to sneak in to one..... Hold on a second........
.........Okay, this is the poop directly from my friend Claude.

"Where else can you go and not only watch beautiful woman take off their clothes for you, but sit down at the table with you half-dressed for the price of a couple of beers, and still feel guilt-free because you aren't cheating on your girlfriend."

Does that help at all?
Hey, there are lots of guys out there who don't go and watch strippers on a regular basis. I'd guess more than half. You might want to date one of them instead. There are those who feel they're buddies will think they're "pussy-whipped" (excuse the expression) if they don't go with them. If your boyfriend is one of those, tell him to say, "Why would I want to pay 6 dollars a beer to watch some girl take off her clothes, when my girlfriend puts on a better show for me at home". Guys are visually motivated, so you may want to give him more visual stimulation. Maybe wear something sexy. Maybe you and he could watch a naughty video together. Maybe get a little more daring during sex. Give him something that will make him think more about you next time he's watching some stripper. Of course you could start going out every week to "Ladies Night" at your local strip club and see how he likes it.

Sophie's advice

Dear Trying To Understand,
It has taken me years to come to terms with this one simple fact: men and women are different animals. Men get turned on by different things than we do, including, (and I generalize here), strippers. You ask yourself, "Why? How? Why would he want to look at a stripper when he can look at a sexy, classy woman like me?" And the answer is... well, it's not important what the answer is, IT JUST IS. Trying to change the inherent make-up of the male species will get you nowhere, except on the receiving end of a lot of resistance and resentment. That said, I'm certainly not condoning males going to strip clubs and acting like animals every night of the week. But within reason, it is a man's choice if he wants to go to a strip club with his friends. As an alternative, have you ever thought of going WITH your man to a strip club? This would take the away the fear of the unknown for you, and most men would be pleased as punch to have you there with them - it's a gutsy move. And who knows what could happen when you get home... If this is not something you'd be into however, then at the very least remember when you're feeling threatened by a stripper, they're not there to steal your man, they're there to take his money.

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