Ask Advice 
Article Archive 

What Could I Be Doing Wrong?

Hi, I’m a 1st year uni student and didn’t go out with the class much as I prefer staying in. My class haven’t bothered to get to know me and I have found they talk behind my back. They say I work too hard, cry too much and I think no one likes me. It's bugging me.

I work my butt off and always like a challenge so that’s what motivates me but this nastiness gets me down. I don’t know what I am doing wrong.

My friends say its jelousy because I’m a threat as I am doing a film course and everyone knows it's competitive but I don’t see it as jealousy. I'm average looking, I work hard, I am getting 2.1s (quite a few of the class are getting 1sts) so I don’t see what there is to be jealous of.

Has anyone got any idea of why this is happening? All I have done is tried with them and it gets thrown back in my face.

University Student

Erin's advice

The key to an enjoyable life is balance, and the sooner you can implement this the happier you'll be. It's great that you're working really hard at school, and you should continue doing that. However,
a big part of University is also the social aspect, which can teach you equally important lessons. By learning how to interact socially and get along with lots of different types of people, you'll be able to be that much more successful in the work force - especially film world. Any creative field thrives on personal interaction and teamwork - it's not a one-person show. You say your class haven't bothered to get to know you and talk about you behind your back.

Have you made an effort to get to know them? What have you done to make yourself more available and friendly so they can get to know you for the person you are? You can't expect people to just come to you while you stay home and don't socialize. Try seeing it from their perspective - they see someone who is not interacting, perhaps seems somewhat snobby, and therefore they see you as "different". Right or wrong, it's a natural instinct for people to be unwelcome to differences in each other. You need to make a bit of an effort to hang out with them, break the ice, show them you're not different and that you have common interests. Be honest - express that maybe you don't want to go out in a big group, but that maybe you could hang out sometime with a couple people for a coffee - or to study.

The bottom line is, you can't expect people to change your life for you - you have to make an effort. If you find you've tried your hardest and are still not getting any results, then don't spend any more energy on it.

Add comment